BERMUDA: Dockyard & Cliff Jumping

While Lama was at work, her friend Earl picked me up and we went exploring all around the island.  We cruised around Dockyard and went to a Bermudian classic restaurant which is called the Lazy Frog. Or dog.  Or Drunken Lizard. I looked it up, it’s the Frog and Onion.  I was close-ish.  We also explored a lighthouse, which I liked.  But it was a liiiitle bit rickety, and I didn’t so much enjoy that.  Rickety is only fun with carnival rides... and only then when it’s the appearance of rickety.  

One particularly hilarious things about the day was Lama’s nickname.  You must remember that the first time I met Lama she declared that we, the lacrosse team, would ONLY call her Sofia.  Instead, we called her Lama and she had to deal with it, ultimately giving us her “permission.”  What I am trying to say is that I’m one of only a handful of people who are “allowed” to call her Lama.  I affectionately call her Lamski and also Lamaste-pronounced like Namaste--for those who are wondering.  She calls me Gunderstein. It all works out. Actually I’ve started calling her Sofia more because it baffled people there when I called her Lama and I had to convert.  Right. Sooo... Lama’s friend Earl

decided he too would call her Lamski, only he kelp calling her Lamaski. Which is so ridiculous.  I liked it.

Then we met Lama at Admiralty Park to go cliff jumping.  Let me set the scene for you.  Earl and I beat Lama to the park.  it’s an incredibly windy day and the waves are crashing into the side of the cliffs.  The sun is out.  But it’s still pretty chilly.  Earl says, “I think this is where you’re going to jump!” So I walk over and peer over the egde.  It’s got to be 20-30 feet, so I laugh at him.  Also, it looks like there’s some coral or something under the water.  So I don’t believe him.  We wander around a little bit, and Lama shows up with all our stuff.  We quickly change out in the open (risky!!!!).

Sure enough, Lama walks right up to where Earl says we’re going to jump. It’s 100% FREEZING in just our swim suits.  We stand by the edge, and I vocalize all my doubts about the waves crashing and not being able to gauge the depth.  Lama says something super questionable like, I’m pretty sure the water’s deep enough or I’m pretty sure that when that bush is out of the water you’re not supposed to jump. So... we’re shivering on the edge of a 20 foot cliff with the wind whipping everywhere and I’m... nervous.  We’re supposed to jump together, but I obviously chicken out at the last moment.  Truly a “You go first--I’m right behind you moment.”  She manages to survive and I with some encouragement--it was really high OKAY--jump after her.  The water is frigid, but I’m happy because I actually jumped. 

Lama's pretty sure it'll be fine.

JUMPER!!!

 I swim over to Lama, who starts to swim towards this cave which brings you back to the park.  She hesitates, treads water for a little bit and says, “There might be lobsters in here.”

Now... You should know a couple of things about these lobsters.  They’re huge. HUGE.  Like... two foot tall huge.  And spiney.  They don’t have pinchers like Maine lobsters.  Here is a picture of Lama with the kind of terror we’re talking about.

HUGE. TERRIFYING.

Needless to say, there weren’t lobsters. We survived and climbed up these cave stairs back to the ground level. It was awesome. I would have done it again a million times if it I had been able to feel my toes.