BERMUDA: Sofia's ridiculosity

Friday morning Lama and I laughed hysterically about the night before I caught a cab to the airport.  A word of advice? Don’t fly hungover.  Having the spins in the air is an experience no one needs.

Also... I completely lied about Sofia looking elegant and classy while I was being absurd.

Thanks for the best spring break EVER Lama!! You're amazing.

BERMUDA: The Booze Cruise

THURSDAY

Thursday.... started out really mellow.  Lama was working a full-day and was going to meet at the “Royal Bermuda Yacht Club” for lunch.  But first, she sent me back to Dockyard on the ferry.  She was insistent I be on the water at least once. It was nice to explore on my own, but mostly I cruised over and cruised back.  Then I camped out on the ACE patio and read, and enjoyed the last of the warm sunshine before returning to the cold and snowy midwest.

I headed over to the yacht club (real casually, like it was normal) to meet Sofia.  It turns out she had some big work emergency and ended up sending her friend, Cooper, to lunch with me instead.  He was a nice guy, and an interesting lunch companion as he’s a reporter in Bermuda. It was there that I ate my last Bermudian specialty: fish chowder.  It was.... fishy.  But good.  I wouldn’t eat it again, but I don’t exactly regret it.

After sunning myself a little more (In jeans and a sweater-it was unnecessarily not-warm!!!), I met Lamaste at the end of her work day.  We ran over to the jewelry store where we got this fun Bermuda sand rings.  We got the same one, so they’re BFF rings.  I’ve been wearing mine a lot! It’s a fun reminder of the excellent times we’ve had.

We picked up a delightfully light dinner, and returned to her house to change for the evening.  We then embarked on a booze cruise.  And THAT’S when things got crazy.

Some highlights from the evening: I made a bunch of new friends.  We brought the captain and first mate beers--which they drank.  I literally drove the boat.  I happily bopped around on the roof deck of the boat.  I drank more than I should have.  And basically had a fantastic evenings.  

Things I learned: a chiffon dress does not handle moisture well.  Don’t borrow Sofia’s coat because you will lose it and feel very guilty. Telling me that you went to law school in South Africa  (cool) and then telling me you decided to instead work on a yacht because being a lawyer was too hard (dumb) is not going to make me want to continue speaking with you. 

After the booze cruise, we continued the evening on main street Hamilton where we ran into more of Sofia's friends.   We basically had an uproariously good time and made it home safely.  Bermudians... they know how to party.

BERMUDA: Dockyard & Cliff Jumping

While Lama was at work, her friend Earl picked me up and we went exploring all around the island.  We cruised around Dockyard and went to a Bermudian classic restaurant which is called the Lazy Frog. Or dog.  Or Drunken Lizard. I looked it up, it’s the Frog and Onion.  I was close-ish.  We also explored a lighthouse, which I liked.  But it was a liiiitle bit rickety, and I didn’t so much enjoy that.  Rickety is only fun with carnival rides... and only then when it’s the appearance of rickety.  

One particularly hilarious things about the day was Lama’s nickname.  You must remember that the first time I met Lama she declared that we, the lacrosse team, would ONLY call her Sofia.  Instead, we called her Lama and she had to deal with it, ultimately giving us her “permission.”  What I am trying to say is that I’m one of only a handful of people who are “allowed” to call her Lama.  I affectionately call her Lamski and also Lamaste-pronounced like Namaste--for those who are wondering.  She calls me Gunderstein. It all works out. Actually I’ve started calling her Sofia more because it baffled people there when I called her Lama and I had to convert.  Right. Sooo... Lama’s friend Earl

decided he too would call her Lamski, only he kelp calling her Lamaski. Which is so ridiculous.  I liked it.

Then we met Lama at Admiralty Park to go cliff jumping.  Let me set the scene for you.  Earl and I beat Lama to the park.  it’s an incredibly windy day and the waves are crashing into the side of the cliffs.  The sun is out.  But it’s still pretty chilly.  Earl says, “I think this is where you’re going to jump!” So I walk over and peer over the egde.  It’s got to be 20-30 feet, so I laugh at him.  Also, it looks like there’s some coral or something under the water.  So I don’t believe him.  We wander around a little bit, and Lama shows up with all our stuff.  We quickly change out in the open (risky!!!!).

Sure enough, Lama walks right up to where Earl says we’re going to jump. It’s 100% FREEZING in just our swim suits.  We stand by the edge, and I vocalize all my doubts about the waves crashing and not being able to gauge the depth.  Lama says something super questionable like, I’m pretty sure the water’s deep enough or I’m pretty sure that when that bush is out of the water you’re not supposed to jump. So... we’re shivering on the edge of a 20 foot cliff with the wind whipping everywhere and I’m... nervous.  We’re supposed to jump together, but I obviously chicken out at the last moment.  Truly a “You go first--I’m right behind you moment.”  She manages to survive and I with some encouragement--it was really high OKAY--jump after her.  The water is frigid, but I’m happy because I actually jumped. 

Lama's pretty sure it'll be fine.

JUMPER!!!

 I swim over to Lama, who starts to swim towards this cave which brings you back to the park.  She hesitates, treads water for a little bit and says, “There might be lobsters in here.”

Now... You should know a couple of things about these lobsters.  They’re huge. HUGE.  Like... two foot tall huge.  And spiney.  They don’t have pinchers like Maine lobsters.  Here is a picture of Lama with the kind of terror we’re talking about.

HUGE. TERRIFYING.

Needless to say, there weren’t lobsters. We survived and climbed up these cave stairs back to the ground level. It was awesome. I would have done it again a million times if it I had been able to feel my toes. 

BERMUDA: Beaches, St. Georges and Sea Glass

Tuesday

Lamaste dropped me off at Horseshoe Bay at about 8:00 am Tuesday morning before she went to work.  Who goes to the beach at 8:00 am? Old people.  And me. It was pretty cold and not at all warm. I cruised around the beach and took pictures and basically just explored and enjoyed the time to relax. 

The sand really is pink... actually the whole sand experience caught me off guard.  After working at the beach in Bloomington for a million years, I feel like I’m pretty familiar with sand.  This sand was different.  Beyond the fact that it was soft and light pink. It was... flat.  So it basically sticks to your skin like glue.  

After exploring, I hunkered down to relax and read.  It was starting to get a little bit warm, so I was comfortable in my shorts and sweatshirt.  After thinking to myself- “This is ridiculous.  You’re in Bermuda, for Pete’s sake! You need to go into the water.”  So I (fully dressed) decided to test the temperature.  I didn’t get into the water past my knees before bailing.  So. Cold. Also... pretty pathetic.  But you know what? Doing silly things isn’t very fun on your own.

BERMUDIAN STEALING GLASS
or alternatively-- look at all that
sea glass.  Interesting.

Then I bused myself back to Hamilton to meet Lamaste. We went on another big adventure out to Saint Georges, Fort St. Catherine, and went to this “beach” that’s famous for it’s sea glass.  Lama wasn’t really sure where the glass beach was so we went into this tourist information shop.  We were then treated to a 10 minute rant about how the sea glass is all gone because the Americans have taken it all and now they’re selling it back to Bermuda.  Oh PLEASE. So annoying.  First-Sea Glass is LITTER.  Second-if it’s all our fault, you probably subscribe to the school of thought that we littered all the glass in the first place which ultimately turned INTO sea glass.  So really, we’re just reclaiming our lost goods. Third, if you’re dumb enough to buy it back Bermuda... that’s on you.  Fourth, there was TONS of sea glass at that beach. Lastly... if you hate the Americans so much, don’t work in a tourist information booth. What an idiot.

Fort Saint Catherine was really cool.  Lama was about 5% as interested as I was. I enjoyed it immensely.  It was also fun because it was insanely windy-the kind where you can literally lay into the wind and it holds you up.  One of my favorite parts was a cannon which appeared to have fallen into the ocean.  I just don’t understand how that happens... but I’ve been laughing about it ever since.  Given that that was almost two months ago?  Pretty funny. 

BERMUDA: Ferry Reach aka Fairy Reach and Hamliton

SUNDAY

Sunday Lama and I were up bright and early to meet her friend for a 9 mile run.  Casual.  His name is Tiago, which I remember by thinking of the parrot from Aladdin.  It was beautiful weather for a run, and they ran at a nice pace.  So I chugged along to keep up.  It was fun to talk to him about his impression of Bermuda and it was a lovely route.  

Highlights: Lama walking into a random gas station to ask for water & going into the ocean to cool off but actually ice my knees cause the water is frigid and not really warm. At all.  

Then we ran off to church-love a little palm sunday Jesus.  After zipping back to casadelama, we met up with a big group of her friends for SUNDAY-FUNDAY! We bagged the original nature walk, and instead decided to go to Ferry Reach (which I thought was Fairy Reach... I find the difference in names to be a let down). But before our hike, a drink was clearly required.  We headed over to the Swizzle Inn for Swizzles--the motto is “Swizzle Inn... Swagger out.”  A Swizzle is, of course, a Bermudian classic featuring Rum and various juices including pineapple and orange.  They’re deceptively strong. 

 Ferry Reach was a lot of fun.  It rained essentially all day... not the tropical paradise I was anticipating.  However, umbrellas (borrowed) in tow we scampered all around Ferry Reach.  We saw some BIG clown fish and a man of war jelly fish.  Lama offered to pee on me if I got stung... what a kind friend.  Thankfully, that did NOT need to happen.  It was just simply a stunning hike, and I enjoyed the exploration!

MONDAY

Monday morning Lama and I headed into Hamilton, which is where she works.  I was given a tour of her building by her friend in the maintenance department. Checked out the CEO’s office, went on the decks, everywhere! It was really cool.  Then I was sent on my merry way to explore Hamilton.  Sofia gave me some directives as to what I MUST visit (ex: museums in

the town hall) but mostly I just checked things out.  I walked through Par la Ville Park, which some website told me was a must see, but turned out only to be a pleasant park.  Nothing special... expect that there were chickens just... cruising around.  No one else thought that was weird.  Lama got off of work at noon, and that’s when we really got to work.  

That afternoon we: went to Fort St. Hamilton, climbed to the top of the church tower, went the the aquarium/zoo, went to Sofia’s favorite spot of the island (which is this massive tunnel/archway), and went to an arboretum.  We saw so much but were really goofy during the whole time.  Like... I climbed all over a cannon... and climbed on top of a wall, and looked ridiculous. Wait. It seems that Sofia tricked me into doing silly things while looking elegant and classy herself.  Suspicious.

Spring Break 2013: BERMUDA

This past April, I went to visit Sofia Bianca Lama in Bermuda.  It was my first legitimate spring break trip EVER (it only took 17 years of education), and I have to say it lived up to all my expectations.  Not only was Bermuda absolutely lovely, I had the best time hanging out with Lama.  She has built a wonderful life on the little island in the Atlantic and has many charming friends.  Lamski is also a superb host-- she made sure I saw all the sights, did everything I wanted to, and generally ensured I had a blast.  She is the BEST.  And possibly was a dictatorial tour guide in a former life.

A few background facts about Bermuda... none of which I knew before my SB13 trip.  First, it’s pretty far north and it isn’t in the Caribbean. It’s basically as far north as North Carolina... who knew.  Therefore... it isn’t nearly as tropical as you’d imagine.  I stubbornly insisted it

was going to be warm and packed accordingly--a mistake of course.  It wasn’t cold exactly, but it wasn’t shorts weather without the sun.  whoops. Second, the beaches are PINK.  Not hot pink but a soft, subtle pink.  If you pick up a handful of sand, you can see the pinkness, which comes from the coral and shells and stuff.  Also, it’s a British Colony. So a lot of people speak in accents and say ridiculous British things.  There’s also a Bermudian slang which I can’t imitate at ALL (probably because I can’t really understand what’s being said).  Lama’s pretty good at it though.  Aaand, many people don’t drive cars but ride mopeds, scooters and motorcycles instead... and insist upon calling them bikes. Sidebar-this realization blew my mind.  Sofia’s brutal “bike” accident of this fall suddenly made a lot more sense with this understanding.

I’m going to handle this trip by positing bit-by-bit.  I was on the island for almost a week having the time of my life with Lama-and she really kept me on the hop.  So I can’t possibly cram this into a  single post without skimming over details and places and pictures. 

SATURDAY

I arrived mid-afternoon on a Saturday.  My flight left at some ungodly early hour, so I’d been up for ages and was incredibly tired.  Lama scooped me up from the itty bitty airport and we went on our merry way.  I quickly changed into shorts and we went on an island drive with Lama’s friend Earl.  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the window! The whole island is just absolutely gorgeous--so green with the most stunning turquoise water,

OH! Island fact! People get their tap water from rainwater.  So all the roofs are white with these crazy layers which funnels the water into their water tanks.  I’m not totally sure how I feel about this green way of life, but took great pleasure out of the look on Mom’s face when I told her. Sheer horror.  But it’s gorgeous, because the walls are painted various bright colors with sparkling white roofs.

We stopped for a quick drink at patio bar in Somerset, where I experienced my first island

specialty: the Dark and Stormy. I am pretty sure it’s Rum and Ginger beer.  It was delicious.  We then headed off to the Sand Art Competition Award Ceremony (Which Sofia’s team won!) and then hit up a quick food festival and did an Earth Hour walk in Hamilton.  Earth

hour is an hour in which all power is supposed to be shut off and you’re supposed to do something eco-friendly. Pretty neat! Prior to the walk I was SUPER cold (see earlier statement about refusing to believe that it was going to be anything other than warm) and so we nabbed some fleeces. 

After the walk, I experienced the joy of “biking” (Ridiculous. it’s a scooter not a bike)  with Sofia.  Sofia’s bike is banana yellow! I rode on the back, and stayed as still as possible.  If I moved really at all she would yell at me.  Apparently they don’t balance well and a wiggly passenger makes it hard to drive.  You know what’s hard? Trying to stay perfectly still when you’re trying to see EVERYTHING and your helmet is really heavy.  Don’t worry though--we didn’t die and I figured out how to stay mostly still.